Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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