gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
