Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You are a genius and a whore.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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