I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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