i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
