Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize