I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
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