airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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