i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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