I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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