i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
