She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize