the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
