Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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