come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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