At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize