i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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