shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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