Dual....:-)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
