Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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