i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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