okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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