Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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