Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
