She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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