apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
