kristin has been a bad kristin
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
