It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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