I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
