carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
