Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Holy sore nipples Batman
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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