1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
