Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This toilet bowl is my home.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
