Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize