It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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