So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
