the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
