Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
