I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
