I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
