I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
