Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
