Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
