So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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