Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Randomize
