Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
