Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize