If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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