hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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