Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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