you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
