Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
