Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so that wasnt chicken after all
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
