Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
