Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
