Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
