she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
