..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
