Im at strip club and am horny
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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