i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
