Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
